Wednesday, June 11, 2014

No colors

Photos by: Rona Buca

Gloomy as it may seem. This saturnine feeling is no longer endured. I may still be living alone but the inner glee rejoices. 

Pardon such literary intro, I was just too agitated to shout.

Lemme start by putting this outfit as a symbol. It started last November when the worst agony I could ever feel in my life occurred in me. Those were the longest months of my life. No it doesn't seemed like a year, perhaps the  months preceding November 2013 could be compared to a never ending century of tribulation. 

For the first time in forever, I could cry a river not just every night but almost everyday. And those were the most helpless moments of my life. I don't care if I'm overreacting or what. Most people say I'm weird and some of my friends say I'm strong. But this time, I can see a forlorn crying lady in front of the mirror each time.

Those were the moments when you've trusted no one but yourself and God only. For I was certain that every time I drop something tremendous, something overwhelming is coming on my way.

Starting 2014, I can't say I have finally moved on with my life's problems. But I can attest that I experienced the freedom I have never encountered in my whole life. Without my huge problem, I think I might not force myself to find a job. Now I'm enjoying everything I want, I can buy anything I want, I suffer with my mistakes. Hence, everything is now under my own control, whether the results may be good or bad, it is my decision.

I'm still on my way to finding what God has prepared in return to the biggest sacrifice I have withheld. But for now, I can finally say, I'm happy.

I wish this outfit post would still be valid. This was taken before the Foto Modelo Ateneo season 3 happened when we need to sell tickets in all black attire with heels. If you're an Atenean, you will know what I mean. 

I may have been to a monochromatic moment of my life but this time, I'm starting to add and collect crayons again.

Top: Thrifted
Bottom: Local store
Pumps: Forever 21
Bag: from Mom


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